Should

October 23, 2014

There are so many should have beens:  

-I should have been 19 weeks pregnant today.

-October should have been a great month of reassurance. I looked forward to this month because I should have had three appointments to show me you were alive and well. Instead, the first one shot that all to hell.

-I should have had the Big Ultrasound last week.  

-I should be almost half way done with your pregnancy.

-I should have an ever growing belly instead of an empty one.

-I should feel you kicking me.

-I should be uncomfortable: heartburn, hot, ever-expanding belly.

-I should be wearing maternity clothes.

-I should be buying more cute things for you to wear.

-Ella should be still hugging my belly and dreaming about the day she can see and hold you.

-We should be planning your nursery.

           -We should be happy and excited.