March 2, 2015
In my newly and precariously pregnant state, I can’t go to tonight’s support group. I am not in a safe spot in my head, for one. I swing from sort of in control of my thoughts and positive thinking to ruled by emotions and convinced that this pregnancy is ectopic in a matter of minutes. Two, a group of pregnancy loss people can be a scary place. It’s there that you learn first-hand experiences of all sorts of unimaginable ways to lose a baby. It is there that you meet people who have lost babies way past your personal loss benchmarks, making it all the more clear to you that you and your baby are just never “safe.” So, I can’t go to my support group tonight which is sort of sad, because I need a lot of support. It’s not easy being in my head right now.
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