October 27, 2014
I don’t want something else to control when we stop having kids or how many kids we have. If we want to have a baby then damn it we should be able to! Why do some people get pregnant by accident and get to keep their baby? Why do some people do all the wrong things during pregnancy and get to keep their baby? Why do some people get pregnant in the worse circumstances and get to keep their baby? Why do we carefully plan, intricately follow guidelines, and truly desire a baby and keep being painfully denied?
Over the last nine years, I've had eight pregnancies. Two ended in the births of my daughters, Lily (8) and Ella (5). Five have ended in losses between 5 and 16 weeks. Chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, and late miscarriage are all part of my history. Finally, my 8th and final pregnancy, brought us our baby boy, Will, who has Down syndrome. With the loss of Olivia at 16 weeks on October 5, 2014, I turned to writing as a way to work through the challenges.
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