When we lost Olivia, my grief counselor suggested making a list of things I'm grateful for. It seemed so counterintuitive. How could I be grateful in a time like that? But, as it turned out, there were many things to be grateful about.
With Will's diagnosis, I found myself naturally returning to this state of mind. In fact, in the doctor's office that first afternoon, I found the first thing to be thankful for: a year and a half ago, we moved into a school district that is acclaimed for its special education services. This was one of the things I mentioned to my doctor within the first 20 minutes.
Within days, I had another thing to be thankful for: all the support of people around us. We are surrounded by people who expressed their excitement about our boy. We are surrounded by people who aren't scared away by his extra chromosome. We are surrounded by people who said beautiful things about our baby that I still go back and read if I need pick-me-up.
I'm also thankful for a strong support network that we found early. The first night, Troy suggested that maybe we needed to return to our support group. I thought that while a support group sounded like a great idea, we would need a whole new kind of group. In my research I came across DSACO, the local Down syndrome association. They have a support group for parents with a prenatal diagnosis up to 3 year olds that happened to have its monthly meeting just a week after we found out. You better believe we were there! We met parents who have been where we are and where we will be. We got to see their little ones. We got signed up with the organization and have already received a mailing from them with resources for our pregnancy.
As that meeting, I learned another thing to be thankful for: our move to Dublin not only took us to the right school district, but also the right county. When we said our location, the response went something like this. "Oh, you live in Delaware County and it's Dublin Schools?" Apparently We inadvertently moved to the "perfect" place in the eyes of some parents.
In addition to the local support group, I have found an online group that is active and positive. Yes, the parents share their worries and challenges, but the overwhelming refrain from experienced parents is, "I wish I knew when I got the diagnosis that I shouldn't be scared. Our family is happy. Our child brings us joy."
There have been and I'm confident there will continue to be things to be thankful for as we continue this journey. Most of all, we are on our way to having our third child who we've been attempting to have since 2011 and through 3 previous losses. And it's icing on the cake that he happens to be our first son!
Over the last nine years, I've had eight pregnancies. Two ended in the births of my daughters, Lily (8) and Ella (5). Five have ended in losses between 5 and 16 weeks. Chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, and late miscarriage are all part of my history. Finally, my 8th and final pregnancy, brought us our baby boy, Will, who has Down syndrome. With the loss of Olivia at 16 weeks on October 5, 2014, I turned to writing as a way to work through the challenges.
We have worked with Delaware County, specifically Help Me Grow, and they are amazing. My neighbors son also receives services through DCBDD and we are both so thankful that we aren't in Franklin County!
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