So Much More

Our family spent some of the first days after learning our baby's diagnosis talking about how we will use purposefully person-first language when we talk about him.

This is natural for me because I have used this same language for years when talking about my uncle. I never say he is schizophrenic. Instead it's that he has schizophrenia. This seemingly small distinction is important! My uncle comes before his condition because he is so much more than that: one of the most generous people I know, a huge sports fan, a Beatles fanatic, a wonderful uncle.

Lily immediately took this language seriously. She has already become a strict enforcer and will point out any transgressions. This means she is mostly correcting Ella who tends to say our baby IS special needs. What we're working on is saying he HAS special needs instead. Similarly, he is not a Downs baby; he is a baby with Down syndrome. Because just like his Great Uncle Tom, our baby will be much more than his condition.

And although we don't know much about him yet, the girls and I realized while sitting in the car in the dance parking lot that he is already more than his diagnosis. He is a boy, my son, and their brother. He is a grandson, nephew, cousin, and great grandson. He is William Oliver. He is Will.