After the initial hours of strength (and let's be honest, shock), the tears came. But they came and continue to come from a very specific trigger:
In the middle of that first night, the floodgates initially opened when I seeked out a blog post I first read five years ago when a mother wrote about learning her daughter has DS. She expressed the initial raw emotions and also the love and wonder she felt.
Her Post
It occurred when I happened upon a video of children explaining all the things they CAN do with Down syndrome.
View the video at the bottom of this page.
The crying, sobbing in a parking lot, happened when I watched a video of happy, active children who have Down syndrome participating in the Special Olympics. My brother sent me the clip of this event, which he happened to attend the day of our diagnosis.
And the crying came when I read my brother's blog post written the day after learning the test results. Perfection.
View the video and read his blog post here.
What these all have in common is they're all positive. They all give me hope about our future with OUR SON.
Over the last nine years, I've had eight pregnancies. Two ended in the births of my daughters, Lily (8) and Ella (5). Five have ended in losses between 5 and 16 weeks. Chemical pregnancy, miscarriage, missed miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, and late miscarriage are all part of my history. Finally, my 8th and final pregnancy, brought us our baby boy, Will, who has Down syndrome. With the loss of Olivia at 16 weeks on October 5, 2014, I turned to writing as a way to work through the challenges.
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