Memorial Around the Tree

December 3, 2014

On Sunday, November 23, we had your ceremony.  That morning, 19 of us gathered to remember you.  People traveled from as far away as North Carolina to be able to honor you. I began by setting out all of your belongings.  I had shared them with some of the people before, but for many this was the only time I would take the opportunity to share your private things with them.  We all signed a page in my book, and we all wrote messages to you.  In the notes, people gave you nicknames they would have called you: Olive Branch, Olive.  They talked about the things they would have done with you as you grew up: horseback riding with grandpa. They said that they can’t wait to meet you someday.  

Then we went outside and circled around your tree. Somehow this late November day was warm enough that we didn’t even need a jacket!  This is especially incredible since just the day before, we woke up to a glaze of ice on everything and the snow that had been on the ground nearly a week finally melted. We listened to music I’d chosen: You’ll be in my Heart, Gone too Soon, and Over the Rainbow. I read your eulogy through sobs.  Then we took turns reading and speaking. I read Your Time of Year, a piece I wrote a few weeks earlier.  Daddy read a poem about how all you ever felt in your lifetime was love. Uncle Adam spoke about the hope of seeing you again someday. Grandma Linda shared a poem her friend wrote just for you and our other lost babies. Nana spoke of the kindness our family has received from loved ones, friends, and even strangers. Then we all sang your lullaby.  I passed around your urn and we each had a chance to say our goodbye. Some kissed you. Others blessed you, and others just had a chance to hold you in your tiny urn.  

We ended by each releasing a purple balloon. Many of us watched them until they were out of sight, and Nana and I cried in each others’ arms when they were gone. 

(The balloons traveling off into the distance)
Lily gave everyone a purple flower she made with tissue paper and pipe cleaners. She attached a tag with your name and birthday. Ours look beautiful in a vase on the table.

Leading up to the ceremony, Daddy tried to keep my expectations realistic. He knows my tendency to imagine grand things only to be let down by reality. But it was everything I imagined and more. It really was a wonderful ceremony and several people, including Daddy, remarked after that it was so beautiful and much more than they expected.

My message to you that day: