Your Time of Year

October 27, 2014

Your due date was March 16, 2015. You were to be our light at the end of winter’s tunnel. You were due the Monday of Spring Break. You were a baby with “perfect teacher timing”. You would be born and I would stay home with you until Summer break started. We would have five whole months together before you would see a babysitter.  

So when I began to think of a tree to plant in your memory, I immediately wanted a tree that would have beautiful spring blossoms. Spring, after all, is your time of year. I found delicate trees with spring blossoms and began to think about the beauty they would add to our yard in your time of year. But Daddy had other ideas. He pointed out that spring was your time of year but not anymore. Now you are our fall baby.  

I thought about that idea. Maybe I would need to reevaluate my plans for your tree. I began to research hearty trees that would show beautiful leaves in the fall. I remembered how I have stood outside in our front yard and longed for some shade. It was then that I decided to plant a tree that would grow big and tall over the years when you couldn’t. It would spread its limbs up and out and its leaves would provide the shade that I had hoped for. I found the Crimson King Maple that would have dark purple leaves during the summer months and then turn golden in the fall. Yes, Olivia, you are our fall baby and we will plant a tree to honor you and your time of year.

I hope that looking at your tree as I pull up to the house or glance out the window will bring me a sense of peace. I plan to hold your memorial ceremony around the tree once it is newly planted. I imagine taking family pictures by your tree for big events over the years. And then you will be in them in a way. I even dare to imagine that one day I will sit on a blanket under your tree and your little brother or sister will be there with me.