Tainted

November 2, 2014

So many things are tainted by negative associations now. The obvious: pregnancy, the doctor's office, the months of all our losses.

But there's much more. The people I know who are due right around when I was: Troy's coworker had the same due date as the ectopic pregnancy, two cousins (one with the exact due date again) with Olivia's pregnancy. So now I will forever more have visual reminders of what should have been at family gatherings. I'm going to see these kids grow up and know Olivia should have been right there with them.Then there are the many people on Facebook I have un-followed because they are pregnant and delivering babies.

Aside from people are the many places that remind me of Olivia: Red White and Boom, Florida, Moe’s, Auntie Ann’s, Sea World. I doubt I will ever visit these places again without thinking of Olivia.

And there are foods: I craved sour--limeade, pickles

And time of year: pregnant all summer, lost in the fall, due in spring.

Shows that I used to watch are off limits due to their pregnant characters: Jill Duggar (due right around when I was) and Parenthood.  I think the only other show I watch is Modern Family.