Time

October 24, 2014  11 am

It’s crazy how time works. Every day is the same number of hours, every week the same number of days. Why, then, does time seem to move differently now than it did when I was pregnant?

It has been three weeks since we learned of Olivia’s death. The time has just happened, seemingly in a blink of the eye. Yet, the first three weeks of knowing I was pregnant were the longest, slowest days and weeks. I was waiting until I could see her on the ultrasound with her heart beating and it seemed to take forever to get to that point. The three weeks between appointments at 9 and 12 weeks were agonizingly long too. So how did these three weeks come and go so quickly?  

We knew about Olivia for almost 13 weeks before she died. At this point, then, we have known she died for about one fourth of the time that we were anticipating her arrival. And by the end of next week, it will become that we were happily expecting her for three months and we’ve been sorrowfully missing her for one month. That swings the ratio to one third. We will already be without her for one third of the time that we were with her. How did that happen?

It’s crazy how time works.